Category Archives: mindfulness

The Time is Out of Joint!

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“The time is out of joint. O cursed spite that I was born to set it right.”

But Hamlet’s observation was skewed by his own personal demons. It was his time (i.e. world) that was out of joint and from his anguished perspective he deemed the whole of Denmark “out of joint.”

The doom-sayers, the proponents of “apocalypse now” always trouble me. Been there, done that…but grew out of it at some point. Yes, the world is always “out of joint” in that it is populated with individuals who are all too human. And, yes collectively we need to attempt to address this “dis-jointedness.” And even individually we have some responsibility to participate in this collective purge of the commonweal.

But our main focus always needs to be on our own “dis-jointedness”, our own brokenness, our own grave limitations. It is much too easy to avoid our personal woes and obsess with how evil the world or particular individuals are. The evils of the world can most effectively be addressed when we focus mainly on the evil that lurks in our own hearts; yes, even our noble, kind, loving, Christian hearts.

Physician, Heal Thy Self

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“Physician, heal thyself.” These words of Jesus (Luke 4:23) apply to all care givers. My particular concern is mental health care givers, having been one for about twenty years.

The dilemma with being a professional care giver is that we tend to have as our main issue our own personal issues/agenda. We have to be very careful to avoid the pitfall of waking up one morning and realizing, “Oh no. This is all about me.” I know. Been there. Done that.

I remember giving one of my college professors pause when, on this general topic, I posed the question, “What would happen to our profession if suddenly there were no mental illness?” The answer is obvious—“we would be out of a job.” So, in a way, counselor educators should provide a course in which students are taught to be effective in alleviating client’s woes…but not too effective! We don’t want the market to dry up!

Seriously, “we wage the war we are.” (W. H. Auden) Yes, we go into the care-giving fields to address our own ills as well as those of our clients. That is because we are human. We are flawed. But, we care givers need to be always aware that mental health (and spiritual health) is a process and that as we provide it, we are seeking it. And somewhere in our life….in our own therapy, or spiritual discipline, or church…we need to acknowledge that we “wage the war we are” and own our personal demons and recognize that always, “it is me, it’s me, it’s me O Lord, standin’ in the need of prayer.”

Give Thanks in All Things

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I lead a pretty boring life. My idea of a good time is sitting in the garage, sipping a beer, and watching a rain storm approach. This is because we are in a drought and rainfall is such a blessing. In fact, the old hymn “Showers of Blessings” often comes to mind as I sit there watching the leaves of the trees dance about, smell the rainfall moving in, and then watch the droplets splatter on the pavement.

And I do thank the good Lord for rain…and for many other simple things in life which so often I’ve taken for granted. I try to be more attentive, i.e. “mindful” of my world and often offer casual prayers of gratitude for things as simple as the mere breath of life.

Early this morning as I watched rainfall move in…this time with coffee in hand…I imagined how it might have been in eons past when our predecessors first began to attribute “blessings” such as rainfall to what would come to be known as “the gods” and eventually…in our culture…”God.” The notion must have percolated for hundreds of years, at least, in our dawning consciousness before it crystallized into a concept.

I guess that in spite of being a bona fide intellectual (pseudo perhaps!) and often looking askance at religious dogma, I am now following the biblical admonishment to “In all things give thanks.” Now why do I do this? I no longer believe that I am picking up any brownie points with God for “praising Him” or “thanking Him.” I mean, He is a really big God and does not have such a frail ego that he needs me to fawn over him. He is not keeping a ledger and dutifully noting each time that “Lewie praised me” again!

So, why bother to “give thanks in all things”? Well, it just kind of flows out of my heart. It is kind of natural. And it is therapeutic. Rumi once noted that praise is the best antidote to despair. And I’ve learned that when despair does beckon, it does help to just turn my attention to some of the many things in life for which I am thankful.

Beware of ideologues!

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It is now about a year ago since Harold Camping had his 15 minutes of fame with his end-of-the-world insanity. Like all of his predecessors, he proved to be wrong and he and his followers were left with egg on their face. Religion Dispatches posted an article recently in which followers of Camping were interviewed about their life in the past year since they got “egged.” A few now totally denounce their former “apocalypse now” style of faith but most of merely reformulated it, offering revised interpretations of the “end of the world.” In other words, they now adopt the pose, “No, it didn’t happen as we anticipated. But, in a way it did happen and here is what I mean….”

In other words, they cling to their lunacy. And that is how we humans tend to behave—we get something in our heads and then hold on to it for dear life. Tearing someone away from a lunatic idea is like trying to take a piece of red meat away from a hungry mongrel. But, I think it goes further than that. We cling to all ideas as if they were ultimate reality and fail to look at what the ideas have reference to; we fail to “wrestle with words and meanings” (T. S. Eliot) as such an enterprise would be too scary. W. H. Auden noted, “And Truth met him and held out Her hand. And he clung in panic to his tall beliefs and shrank away like an ill-treated child.” Decades ago I read someone who noted, “Our thoughts are the belated rationalization of conclusions to which we have already been led by our desires.” In other words, we think and believe only what we want to.

Now let me clarify and be honest. The temptation of being an ideologue is not the exclusive domain of conservative religious zealots. It is a temptation for all of us. Yes, even for the “literarylew” ilk! I have seen egregious examples of this obnoxiousness with liberal, educated, “enlightened” people. It is all the same.

And I close with the oft quoted Buddhist observation about words: the finger pointing to the moon is not the moon.

Perspective and meta-cognition

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JUST AT DARK
By Marilyn Dorf
the young doe
every night
gazes long at our window pondering
perhaps
the glow of our lamp this moon fallen down
in her pasture

Now we have no idea what animals think but it is interesting to speculate how life appears to them. This interesting poem in the Christian Science Monitor brings to the subject of perspective to my mind…and perhaps will shake me out of my long doldrum in publishing here in WP.
I read somewhere years ago…I think it was the philosopher Ricoeur…that “it is impossible to have a perspective on our perspective without somehow escaping it.” This meta-cognition was an incredible development in human consciousness. “Homo sapiens sapiens” a friend noted months ago, “Man knows that he knows.”
We are incredible creatures, just like the deer, the birds, the squirrels, and the rest of the animal kingdom. But this meta-cognition appears to set us apart in some way, allowing us to create culture but with the price tag of awareness of our own mortality.

Ignorance is still bliss!

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I would like to recommend an excellent blog to you: http://lowellsblog.blogspot.com/. Lowell is an Episcopalian priest who emphasizes meditation in his ministry. He is very thoughtful and very humble.

I would like to share a couple of his thoughts from yesterday’s blog:

I don’t know now what I don’t know, but God grant me the courage to turn away from my falseness whenever the Spirit of truth comes and guides me into new truth, no matter how scary or humbling it may seem.

Lowell values ignorance like I do. He knows that he does not know a whole lot. And he views faith as the process of learning more and more just how little we know and how that in this process we are always getting closer to our goal. Whatever that is! And yes, our “falseness’ is a steady foe. It never leaves us; for, we always “see through a glass darkly” and tend too often to take our “darkly” view too seriously.

But there is also the need to jettison old ideas and attachments that no longer work. I think it was Teresa of Avila who said something like, “God in mercy never makes us aware of our sin until God has also given us the grace to confess it.”

Our shortcomings mercifully come to us when we are ready for them. Oh would it be painful otherwise! I think narcissism is a basic human flaw. If I’d have seen my narcissism decades ago, it would have blown my mind! Now, when it peaks at me from time to time, I feel the sting of self-awareness, practice that Thich Nhat Hanh “half-smile”, and continue along my way.

No need to convert you!

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I have realized that my blogging career has paralleled a newly-found, complete disinclination to convert anybody to anything. Here, I do hold forth and usually about things which I take very seriously and believe in very strongly. But, these beliefs are only my perspective and are not therefore eternal truth that you must subscribe to. Now I do believe they are relevant to “eternal truth” but are not eternal truth itself and the degree that they are relevant is probably less than I am wont to believe.
I believe that spiritual truth must be personal, that it must be woven into the warp and woof of our day to day life so that it is very casual and natural. If so, any “converting” that needs to take place will be in the very capable hands of God. He does not need me to argue for him, to reason for him, to intimidate, manipulate, or browbeat. My faith is not something I wear, like my Sunday best clothing, it is just an important element of who I am; it is my “highest value” and will be apparent to those who know me best.
My newly-found approach to faith emphasizes ignorance. I just don’t know a whole lot. Oh yes, I am well educated, well-read, and very verbal—I am very adept at throwing 35 cent words around for nickel ideas. But I don’t know a whole lot. I don’t have objective knowledge of anything, certainly not God and His wisdom. I only at best “see through a glass darkly” and I always come to realize that my class was more “darkly” than I had previously thought, But I see this limitation as being merely my human-ness and something I must live with. And it keeps me more humble than I would be otherwise; it keeps me from needing to “convert” you!
I would like to conclude with a lengthy and insightful quote from Henry Miller from his lurid novel, Sexus:

The great ones do not set up offices, charge fees, give lectures, or write books. Wisdom is silent, and the most effective propaganda for truth is the force of personal example. The great ones attract disciples, lesser figures whose mission it is to preach and to teach. These are the gospelers who, unequal to the highest task, spend their lives in converting others. The great ones are indifferent, in the profoundest sense. They don’t ask you to believe: they electrify you by their behavior. They are the awakeners. What you do with your life is only of concern to you, they seem to say. In short, their only purpose here on earth is to inspire. And what more can one ask of a human being than that?

To be sick, to be neurotic, if you like, it to ask for guarantees. The neurotic is the founder that lies on the bed of the river, securely settled in the mud, waiting to be speared. For him death is the only certainty, and the dread of that grim certainty immobilizes him in a living death far more horrible than the one he imagines but knows nothing about.

The way of life is towards fulfillment, however, wherever it may lead. To restore a human being to the current of life means not only to impart self-confidence but also an abiding faith in the processes of life. A man who has confidence in himself must have confidence in others, confidence in the fitness and rightness of the universe. When a man is thus anchored he ceases to worry about the fitness of things, about the behavior of his fellow men, about right and wrong and justice and injustice. If his roots are in the current of life he will float on the surface of life like a lotus and he will blossom and give forth fruit. He will draw his nourishment from above and from below; he will send his roots down deeper and deeper, fearing neither the depths nor the heights. The life that is in him will manifest itself in growth, and growth is an endless, eternal process. He will not be afraid of withering, because decay and death are part of growth. As a seed he began and as a seed he will return. Beginnings and endings are only partial steps in the eternal process. The process is everything…the way…the Tao.

Thoughts re Incarnation

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I think the Incarnation is an essential issue in life. But it is also essential that this be a personal issue and not merely historical dogma that one has been imprisoned by. The issue is always, “What does this mean to me?”

One meaning of “coming down from above” and “dwelling on the earth” (i.e. “incarnation”) is to stop living in my head and to start living in my body. And though this is most obviously applicable to a pointy-headed pseudo-intellectual cerebrotone male, I think it is applicable to the human race. Our task as we evolve, individually and collectively, is to follow the advice of Fritz Perls and “Let go of our mind and come to our senses.” W. H. Auden described it as “flesh and mind being delivered from mistrust.”

And, how is this done? Why don’t I just do it? Well, I wish it was that easy. I actually think it is a life-long process, that it is the actual experience of “working out our own salvation with fear and trembling.” And, that process is underway here in some paltry fashion. That is why I can borrow the words of Leonard Cohen again today and humbly pray, “Oh bless this continual stutter of the Word being made flesh.”

Thoughts re St. Augustine

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It is amazing to note change. I’m now reading St. Augustine’s Confessions and enjoying it immensely. When I labored through part of it in college, I found it excruciating. Now it is invigorating to read of another man’s struggles with his Source nearly 2000 years ago. And I had forgotten what a randy son-of-a-gun he was!

I really liked his description of his moment of conversion as “that moment wherein I was to become other than I was.” I wander if “W” would have any idea what he was talking about or even Romney? I bet O’Bama would.

I’d like to share again my favorite Shakespearean sonnet which pertains to this notion that we have a soul within which “pines” to be seen, recognized, and respected. This is the most pressing need of human kind, always has been and always will be. For, “getting there” is a process individually and collectively. Enjoy:

Poor soul, the centre of my sinful earth,
(Thrall to these rebel powers that thee array),
Why dost thou pine within and suffer dearth,
Painting thy outward walls so costly gay?
Why so large cost, having so short a lease,
Dost thou upon thy fading mansion spend?
Shall worms, inheritors of this excess,
Eat up thy charge? Is this the body’s end?
Then, soul, live thou upon thy servant’s loss,
And let that pine to aggravate thy store;
Buy terms divine in selling hours of dross;
Within be fed, without be rich no more:

So shalt thou feed on death, that feeds on men,

Why I blog

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When I started blogging 6-7 months ago I posted about why I was doing so. I explained that I was following the Shakespearean advice to “unpack my heart with words” and also noted a verse from Job where a character reported, “My belly is full of words, like a taut wine-skin, about to burst.” Since then I have continued to find this process very cathartic and a very important element in my spiritual life. T. S. Eliot advised us to “offer our deeds to oblivion” and I think of this daily posting as one little deed that I toss out into that black hole each day, not having any idea where it is going and if it will be heard and even if it is heard whether it will matter. That is very freeing.

I want to share similar ruminations from another blogger that I recently met. Though his name and his picture mean that our back grounds are dissimilar…he did not grow up as an Arkansas honky redneck…his experiences are similar. And he has found blogging to be meaningful in ways that I have. (Now, I can only “copy-and-paste” his blog as I’m not smart enough to import a link to his blog.)

 

 

The following is from: http://santuonline.wordpress.com/
The question is quite old. It has been asked and answered by millions. Mostly the answers are quite same. But flavors are different. After all everyone is unique. Here is mine..
I was an introvert. Most of the time I used to swim in my own mind. I always felt like people were always out there to get me, humiliate me in public. I was a hell of shy kid. Apart from that I am very curious person. I like to to try out everything at least once. So, when I heard about the bloggers meet in my college, I thought of giving it a try. Watching my best friend Indrajit going around flaunting a new “BCET Bloggers” badge, I decided to have a blog of my own.
I first started one on blogger.com . It was a complete disaster. Then I came to WordPress. Another two disasters were born. I don’t even remember their names. Then came SantuOnline at last. It never had any visits or likes, because I didn’t know then about the resource called “tag“. It was September last year, that I discovered tags and my number of visits and likes grew. I got a handsome number of followers too.
I still didn’t know why I was into blogging? It was like beer. Bitter to taste, but drinking feels good. (just an example, I don’t drink ) At first, I used to search for different tags and related posts. I used to like all the pages I visited. I just knew the more I “like”-d the more visits I would get. It was a sort of race against time. I didn’t have much time everyday, but tried to do as many as possible “likes”.
Slowly, I began to slow down. Strange to hear, but that is exactly how it happened. Now, I didn’t just visit at random, and put in likes. I took my time to read each blog I visited, put in some comments and thoughts. It became a healthy outlet for my mind. My perspective changed. I met many like minded people on wordpress. Swimming in my own mind, I had accumulated tons of doubts and junk. They got cleaned. There is still a lot more to do, but it feels better now.
Needless to say, blogging has now become more than just an obsession. It is source of daily inspiration. I am not as shy as I used to be. I have opened up a lot. I am more confident. Now I don’t feel like people are always out there to humiliate me. Here, I can speak my mind without fear. I can ask any type of foolish question without being branded as immature. There are so many people here. One is bound to find at least another one just like self. It is so easy to relate on blogosphere.
Having found some exact matches of mine, I wonder “aren’t we all unique?!! then where did these people come from? ”