Category Archives: poetry

favorite poetry

Puppies & Flowers All Over the Place

A "puppy" and flowers near Taos, NM

The “puppy” sends his apologies for the social indiscretion!

Decades ago a friend told of her four year old son casually expressing his delight with a springtime morning, describing it as “puppies and flowers all over the place.” I was stunned that a child so young could capture the beauty of the world so eloquently and create a poetic image with complete childhood innocence.

At times I now see this pristine beauty that he saw and have faint memories of my own innocent apprehension of that beauty, though mine are “sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought” that Hamlet lamented. Childhood is a magical world and it is sad that we have to say good-bye to it at some point.

But, do we? Well, in a way we do for we have to enter another world if we are to become “human” though if things work out well we will always have access to that childhood innocence though it will probably come to us with some taint of “adulthood.” Children are our most precious resource and should be our number one priority. That innocence needs to be respected as it is the matrix in which the child’s nascent soul, constituted only moments earlier, is given direction and purpose. If that child is allowed to see “puppies and flowers all over the place” quite often, he/she will be able to unfold more as God intended than if he/she is buffeted my misfortune and disappointment most of the time.

These thoughts were inspired by a blog I read this morning from a friend in India who still has that childhood purity and innocence in her adulthood:

Too many good things confuse me especially in May when the flowers are out and wearing Rain, like hi-fashion ear drops. People look great, smiling. I talk to strangers, they talk back. What’s this ? It is beautiful, a Peace returning. Storms wear pretty coats, gray silver lining and gentle breathing songs. Koyal. Milkmen on cycles, newspaper boys fabulous eyes fringed with lash.

I must always go on these walks. I forgave Ms Lily K for the yelling I got flunking a Maths test and how I wept all over my blue pinafore that noon after school, pigtail come loose with shock and horror….

I finally forgave her ; she looked great with the morning light now bright in her little curls. Weird that we remember her curls now, so many dawns down the calendar since that day.

Walks should not be too long. I might bring down all my defenses, all barbed wire and put up friendly posts everywhere… uh. Just a lil walk ‘ll do. Too much heaven complicates this earthling…

(See http://innerdialect.wordpress.com/2013/05/14/too-many-good-things-confuse-me/)

Top Ten Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Marriage is not a piece of cake. A pastor from my youth, displaying his keen wit, once noted, “I didn’t know what happiness was until I got married. Then I rmembered.” Each of us marries a fantasy and as the work of marriage begins the fantasies begin to crumble until at some point we are met with the reality of who we are and who we are married to. That is the point at which many marriages dissolve, one or both parties decided to go back to the supermarket shelf and pick out another model.

Here is a favorite poem of mine about marriage, written by Wendell Berry, and describing the “work” of marriage::

How hard it is for me, who live
in the excitement of women
and have the desire for them
in my mouth like salt. Yet
you have taken me and quieted me.
You have been such light to me
that other women have been
your shadows. You come near me
with the nearness of sleep.
And yet I am not quiet.
It is to be broken. It is to be
torn open. It is not to be
reached and come to rest in
ever. I turn against you,
I break from you, I turn to you.
We hurt, and are hurt,
and have each other for healing.
It is healing. It is never whole.

A few weeks an Indian friend of mine produced a facetious Top Ten Signs of a Happy Marriage an challenged me to produce one of my own. My wife and I have produced one and it includes a degree of facetiousness. Here are our TOP TEN:

1. Let not the sun go down on your wrath…too often!
2. Have happily married friends; osmosis is relevant.
3. Get a life! Both of you!
4. When she talks, “listen”, don’t merely “wait.”
5. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
6. Remember, “Don’t sweat the small stuff. And it’s all small stuff.”
7. Experience new things together.
8. If you have kids, remember they don’t belong to you alone. Remember, you still have a life also. And your kids need to see that.
9. Talk to each other. Share your thoughts.
10. Must have two lovely dachshunds

Ludwig is our 12-year old dachshund who recently had laser surgery to correct a back injury. Thus the short hair on the side.

Elsa is Ludwig’s 4 year old sister. She too is a critical key to the marriage success.

Perils of the Muslim Brotherhood and other Misogynists.

There is a story in today’s New York Times about the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt and its concerns about women’s rights. I will share just one tidbit to illustrate the absurdity of their efforts. “A woman needs to be confined within a framework that is controlled by the man of the house,” said a Brotherhood “family expert.” He further explained, “ Even if a wife were beaten by her husband,” she must be shown, “ how she had a role in what happened to her.” (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/15/world/middleeast/muslim-brotherhoods-words-on-women-stir-liberal-fears.html?_r=0)

The empowerment of women in my country, the United States, is one of the most significant developments I have watched unfold in my lifetime. The importance of this development is very much related to having been born into a very traditional, patriarchal, and impoverished southern family in the United States in 1952. Of course, I knew nothing of family politics in those early years as “power structures” was a notion that I didn’t learn about until much later. But once I had completed college, began reading the social sciences, philosophy, and literature voraciously, I became aware of their presence and began to interpret my own personal life from the perspective I gained.

My Dad was the “head of the household” and he had the Bible to affirm this status. He and the local church emphasized his supremacy and the duty of his wife and six children to dutifully obey his authority. And for years we complied though early in our lives we began to see the inconsistencies in his teachings and in his day to day life and our loyalty was increasingly with mother.

A key feature of dad’s power was control of the purse strings and on that note he made a politically disastrous move in the late 1950’s when he coerced mother into taking a job at a nursing home. She later would recall how she hated doing taking this job, she hated leaving her children alone in the evening hours, and hated not being able to provide the “mother-hen” love that she showered upon us her brood But she, of course, had to cave in at some point and relent because our financial needs were pronounced and dad was the “head of the household.” She worked a bit more than a year before he changed his mind and wanted her to quit though at that point she liked working, her sense of accomplishment was rewarding, and the increased disposable income was a welcome relief from the tedium of abject poverty. But, still dutiful, she acquiesced and quit her position. But, within the year she returned to work, probably because of economic need but also I’m sure because of her wish to return to the life that she was discovering in her job.

This return to work sealed dad’s fate, setting in motion forces which would allow my family to modernize and, more or less, join the world. For, mother thrived in this job as a nurses aide, gained the confidence of her boss, even enrolled in nursing school (LPN school) and completed her licensure requirements. All this time, she was bringing in steady income and this income actually superseded that which dad made in his work as a laborer in the community. Meanwhile, we kids were growing up and becoming more and more aware of dad’s short comings and, admittedly, were always being enticed by mother’s love and not-too-subtle frustrations and anger at her husband.

And, to make a long story short…and perhaps I will try to develop the story more in the future…mom finally succeeded with her quest for independence and left dad, along with her brood, in 1969. This was necessary as dad had become increasingly depressed, hostile, and had even threatened aggression on one occasion. Within two months of this separation, dad had died of an heart attack.

The point of this personal anecdote is that when women gain employment, they gain empowerment, they have the opportunity to find an identity, and to engage in the world. But when they make progress of this sort, it does pose threats to the family dynamic and, in sociological terms, to the social fabric. For one of the bedrocks of traditional, conservative cultures is the subservience of women. If women gain liberties…if I might misapply the wisdom of Todd Akin and making, admittedly, a contorted statement…the gods might just “shut this whole thing down.” Men want control.

The Muslim Brotherhood stance is very telling and I can imagine how it has the Saudi political/religious establishment “shakin’ in their booties.” If they allow these “uppity” women to make any further inroads into their political fiefdom, it will place profound stresses on the social and cultural fabric. But, reality is that a dynamic culture must allow stresses to occur and to find that as they address these stresses they can benefit immensely. But, of course, Egypt is not a dynamic society. And the “gods” always fight change, “tooth and toenail.” (And this same dynamic can currently be seen in my country particularly with the far-right extreme of the Republican party.)

Rumi, the Bible, and Self-control

“He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a city without walls.” The writer of Proverbs recognized the battle we all wage with our internal haunts. The apostle Paul also acknowledged this human frailty, declaring “I will to do good but evil is present with me.” We are a composite of contradictory impulses and most of us manage to “give the name of action” (Shakespeare, in Hamlet)  to the good ones and sublimate the bad ones. Our news reports are filled with those who were less capable of that God-given fore-brain wizardry.

And the Persian poet Rumi put it this way, “intelligent people want self control; children want candy.”   God, that guy was good, even if he was a damn Iranian!  (wink, wink)

 

Jeremiah 17:9 and Self-deception

Jeremiah 17:9 tells us, “The heart is desperately wicked and deceitful above all things.” I used to read this verse and cringe…and often in my youth  preached “hell fire and damnation” from it…but now I have the temerity to interpret it myself. I no longer think it means that we are scum buckets but it does mean that the “heart” is problematic and the reason is that it believes, by nature, only what it wants to believe. This verse is telling us that our heart can lead us but we must remember that, without a discerning spirit about us, it will usually mislead us as we are intrinsically wont to interpret things in a self-serving manner. Therefore, we can go ahead and “interpret” and make other judgments, but we just can’t be too smug and even arrogant about wielding our “truth” like a hammer. There is always more to the picture. And that is why we need others, and a spiritual context, to give us feedback about our interpretations.

And we must try to make sure they are not just like ourselves as that is not really feedback. We must think, and live, outside the bubble! Yes, history confirms there have been “desperately wicked” people and suggests there will continue to be from time to time. I suggest they they are those who are most enclosed in some “comfy” bubble, those that W. H. Auden had in mind when he noted, “We have made for ourselves a life safer than we can bear.”

Case in point—the Taliban in Afghanistan. How isolated and insular can you be? But, are we not guilty of the same, to some degree? Is that not the predicament of our two political parties, each dug in at the heels and unwilling to compromise, irresolutely sure of themselves? How insular and self-serving can you be when you make political decisions based primarily, if not wholly, on “Will this help me get re-elected?” There is reality outside of re-electability. There are things more important, such as the welfare of this country. And, the core issue is, “Do I believe in a reality (Reality) outside of myself?” Our culture often does not appear to and our politicians reflect our values.
Excerpt

Our Thoughts Become Us

Mike Dooley has a daily posting in which he shares a brief blip of wisdom which can best be described as “New Age.”  His thoughts are often timely and he even knows me by my first name!  And he will know you by your first name!  But what I really like about his posting is a simple bromide he always concludes with, “Thoughts become things.  Choose the good ones.”  I like to adapt it to my own perspective and it comes out, “Thoughts are things.  Choose the good ones.”

For, as cognitive behavioral psychology teaches us, our thoughts do have a powerful influence on our moods and behavior.  Simply stated, change your thoughts and you change your life.  And, yes, that is easier said than done but it deserves being mulled over.  As Proverbs noted, “As a man thinketh, so is he.”

Nuanced Prayer of St. Anselm

 

I came across a beautiful prayer by St. Anselm that I wish to share. This prayer is so foreign to how I was taught to pray decades ago. It is so convoluted, complex, and paradoxical. I guess one could call it poetical. Prayer requires nuance and St. Anselm had a nuanced faith.

O Lord my God,
Teach my heart this day where and how to see you,
Where and how to find you.
You have made me and remade me,
And you have bestowed on me
All the good things I possess,
And still I do not know you.
I have not yet done that
For which I was made.
Teach me to seek you,
For I cannot seek you
Unless you teach me,
Or find you
Unless you show yourself to me.
Let me seek you in my desire,
Let me desire you in my seeking.
Let me find you by loving you,
Let me love you when I find you.