Tag Archives: Richard Nixon

The Prophet Pogo is Speaking to Us!

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I’ve been banished to my “penalty box,” which is the sunroom of our house.  My precious doggie Petey has been banished also, and he is actually the reason for this “banishment.” An harpsichord tuner is arriving shortly and he will need quiet to pay his professionally keen “listening” skills to the tuning of this lovely instrument.  Petey would not permit this, having so much to say to any stranger with his raucous voice. And after all, this “penalty box” is one of my favorite places to set and watch the spring morning unfold, with Petey and I exploring philosophical intricacies!

“Limits” is on my mind so often with this pandemic that besets us.  And even this visit from the tuner brought this to mind when my wife reminded me, “gloves and face mask” when he arrives. This same precaution is relevant anywhere I go, even to Wal Mart where I patiently wait in line with others in queue to “get stuff.” And even there, the queue will be donned with the same PPE I now have at my side.

Having a religious upbringing, of which I’m so proud, my mind goes biblical at times like this. The gods are speaking to us collectively and sternly telling us, “Limits!” (But I prefer the simple term “God” even though I occasionally I will refer to them with the plural pronoun.) Any people will get wayward here and there and will need a lesson like this, painful and deadly thought it might be.  This god-sent “pestilence” is a message from “On High” that we need to look at ourselves closely…and I don’t mean look at “them” more closely unless we look at ourselves with equal intensity.  In the words of the prophet Pogo, “We have met the enemy and he is us!”

I just watched a promo on TV about History Channel’s new three-part movie about U.S. Grant.  The narrator pointed out that when Lee surrendered to him at Appomattox in April, 1864, it was a solemn occasion.  Grant did not “rub it in” to the vanquished South and his opposing general, U.S. Lee. There was no taunting or jeering as the diplomatic graciousness of Abraham Lincoln had filtered down to Grant and his troops. It was a grievous occasion and Grant knew that merriment from him or his troops was not called for.  I am reminded of a similar moment of graciousness to a defeated foe in the Spanish-American War of 1899 as a U.S. ship had blown a Spanish ship out of the water.  The American troops broke into raucous cheer, happy to see their hard and dangerous work had been successful as the Spanish ship, the Vizcaya, went down in flames.  The captain of the American ship, John Woodward Philip, chided his cheering troops with these famous words, “Don’t cheer boys.  The poor devils are dying.”

Our history offers us many examples of graciousness and respect in moments when our leaders could have responded differently. The humility needed in the moment requires deep-seated respect for boundaries, for the “other” even when our hearts are bursting with “the thrill of victory.” Those two events in our history reveal vividly the emotional/spiritual courage of leadership in a moment of crisis.  These men had boundaries.  I even remember a similar humility in the resignation of Richard Nixon in 1969 when, devastated with shame and humiliation he solemnly and graciously stepped into that helicopter, turned around and waved good-by , allowing Gerald Ford to take his place. Nixon was a broken man as our government had stepped in and firmly set a limit for that very fragile man, telling him, “That’s enough.”  May our leaders always be able to muster up the courage and demonstrate the dignity that is required of all leaders.

This is a moment in the history of mankind when we can dare to tell ourselves, “It is not just about me/”

Ego Integrity, Shame, and Politics

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At a family get together decades ago, one of my young nephews got into some mischief, did something “wrong,” and his mother challenged him sternly, “Billy, why did you do that?”  I’ll never forget the look on the face of that five year old boy.  His eyes glared with guilt and fear, he looked away, he stammered and then announced, “No!”  His guilt was obvious to all; some of us smiled, remembering our youth when we had been there in Billy’s shoes.  Years later In my clinical practice I was presented one morning with a six year old boy with impulse control issues (adhd) who had been rescued from an abusive family by his kindly grandparents.  Sammy, as I’ll call this young tyke, eagerly greeted game playing as part of his treatment plan.  This strategy was invaluable for a patient with these issues, providing an opportunity to teach respect for rules of simple board games, as well as patience.  His moments of frustration and anger could then be explored in relation to behavior in school and family life.  Sammy had very little control over his impulses, not able to accept having made a bad move and insisting that got to have a “do-over.”  He even threw the board one time in frustration as I emphasized a simple rule.  Often he would simply lie though it was obvious that he had cheated.

Both of these young lads had not reached the developmental stage of being able to admit having made a mistake, having been “wrong”, which is a basic skill in participating in the human race.  The social body functions only if certain basic rules of organization, structure, civility, decorum, and respect for others can be adhered to.  In each of these instances, they were off to a poor start in accomplishing this goal.

“Ego integrity” can handle critical feedback from others though it often still hurts deeply.  I remember the impeachments of Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton.  Each of them were deeply humiliated, and tried to lie their way out of it, but ultimately had to accept their fate and admit they had erred.  In Nixon’s case, he had to accept the great humiliation of being forced to resign from office.  Each of us have an ego and our ego is designed to attempt to save face; this is how the ego is designed.  But when one has developmentally matured enough, his ego can have the integrity to accept the shame of humbly admitting, “I was wrong.  I made a mistake.”  In some contexts this might even be framed as, “I have sinned.”

When one lacks this ego integrity, and is is extremely immature and overwhelmed with shame and humiliation, the individual will go to any extreme to save face, even resorting to violence.  This violence can be overt but also subtle, i.e. taking political form, and having a devastating or catastrophic impact on the social body. This individual cannot back down.

“Our Long National Nightmare is Over”

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These were the words of President Gerald Ford in his speech after Richard Nixon stepped down from the Presidency in 1973  These same words come to my mind yesterday morning after the election tumult had ended, though I do not think the “nightmare” is completely over.

I am so very relieved with O’Bama’s win and with some other causes that I was in favor of around the country. And part of me wants to gloat, I guess, but I’m glad that I’m mature enough to not even really want to. The issues the we face as a culture just do not permit childish behavior such as gloating, even for “no-bodies” like myself. I think it is very important that we “no-bodies” realize that our behavior and attitude are very important just as it is with the “some-bodies” of our world. For even we “no-bodies” must realize that ultimately we too are a “Some-body” and that our behavior and attitude contribute to the karma of the world. Let me explain it one other way. I am a “small-fry” in that I’m not important so why would it matter what I think or feel? Well, I think it does. Each of us contributes to a collective consciousness in some infinitesimal way.

I see some evidence that the “Big fries”, the “Some” bodies are responding to this election with graciousness. It is so important that a spirit of consideration and respect begin to take place in our country, especially in its leadership. Romney certainly was gracious in his concession speech and O’Bama indicated a willingness to do the same. I can imagine how devastating this loss was for Romney and I hope he has the courage and humility to go through the grieving process, then get on his feet, and step to the plate and find his place in our country’s political leadership. He is now a national leader and we need him. I fear his party will savage him, blaming him for the loss, when the reason for the loss went far beyond their choice of candidate.

“Just get over yourself” is something I have to tell myself almost daily when often I find myself taking myself too seriously and making poor choices in behavior and attitude. If our political leadership could do this from time to time I think our current political morass could be worked through, that our leaders would be able to make decisions without prostrating themselves to the alter of “electability”.